My Bloody Valentine 3D
It had dawned on me just the other day that I had never seen a 3D movie in the theatres before. I was still under the impression that 3D movies rendered everything a shade of red and blue and were pointless to see. I told a friend about this, and the next day she suggested that we go see My Bloody Valentine 3D.
I had no intention of ever seeing this movie as it looked like, from the previews, so much junk. My friend told me the people at her job were saying the movie wasn’t “all that” but the 3-D effects were good and worth the price of admission.
Off to the Theatre to See My Bloody Valentine 3D
My Bloody Valentine 3D is a remake of the original My Bloody Valentine, which was a 1981 Canadian slasher flick with a large cult following. Mostly the names and overall storyline are kept intact with only a few differences.
The movie opened on January 16, 2009, and I went to see it with a friend on January 23. I was surprised to see that the line for this movie was literally out the door. The theatre was packed with couples and teenagers. Even before we got in, there were several young teenagers attempting to get me to buy tickets for them, which I tried to do, before I learned the ticket prices were 2.5 dollars extra for 3D movies (the poor kids didn’t give me enough money). This upset me, but I paid anyway then it was off to stand in another long line to get into the movie. There was another couple of teens that asked me if they were checking ID, and if they were, could I say they were with me. I agreed to this and off we went.
Our showing was packed, just about every seat filled. The previews weren’t much to talk about except some new action flick that I forget the name of and my first look at the preview of Neil Gaiman’s Coraline, which I did not know was even in production. But all right, let’s talk about this here movie.
The Setup and the Plot of My Bloody Valentine 3D
It’s a slasher film, are you really worried about the plot? I know that I am, I need a plot, something, anything…and this movie did have one. It wasn’t even a bad one…that is, until the movie’s “twist” ending, which throws the whole plot out of the window and into the garbage. A sleepy mining town is struck by tragedy when a mining accident results in a cave-in, killing several mine workers. Oddly enough, it’s found that the miners were not killed in the cave-in, but by what looked to be a pickaxe to their heads. Harry Warden is blamed for the murders, but he’s in a coma. The mine owner’s son, Tom Hanniger, is blamed for the cave-in.
A year later Harry wakes from his coma and heads directly back to the mine, where there is a teenage mine party going on…you should be able to guess what happens next.
The bulk of the movie takes place ten years after that event when everybody thinks it’s all over and just a messed up memory. Of course, we know that ain’t true. There is more going on, but unless you plan to actually see the film, you shouldn’t even wonder about it.
The Characters of My Bloody Valentine 3D
The characters in this movie are not as shallow as you would think, but they’re still a bit one-dimensional. They are given mediocre dialogue but play their roles well within the confines of the script they were given…I guess. Here is the main character list, taken from Wikipedia:
- Jensen Ackles (of Supernatural fame) as Tom Hanniger
- Jaime King as Sarah Palmer
- Kerr Smith as Axel Palmer
- Edi Gathegi as Deputy Martin
- Tom Atkins as Burke
- Betsy Rue as Irene
- Kevin Tighe as Ben Foley
- Marc Macaulay as Riggs
- Megan Boone as Megan
- Richard John Walters as Harry Warden
Jensen does a good job as Tom, somewhat dark and brooding. Jaime does a good job as Sarah, a little confused about her feelings but sure of her convictions. Kerr plays a good Axel. These are the three that stand out (and why not, they are the main characters), but their performances are still “blah”. And so is everybody else’s. For all the politically correct folk out there, there is one black character, played by the serious looking Edi Gathegi, and no, he doesn’t die. The performances are just making it in this film, but most people don’t attend a slasher film for star-studded quality acting anyway.
The 3-D aspects of the film were a lot better than I thought they would be going in. As an avid movie watcher, I am usually unmoved by shock moments and scary, atmospheric scores. I’m also unmoved by most of the blood and gore in most movies. The added 3D elements did make quite a few people in the crowded theatre jump. And a lot of the stylized, bloody, horrific violence did make some people cringe and gasp. For me, it was just more of the same stuff we’ve been seeing in these types of films for the last decade. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it made the film seem as if it lacked substance.
The 3D is achieved through a technology called Real D. I could immediately see practical uses for it the moment I put on my glasses. A note about the glasses, they hurt. They hurt my eyes, they hurt my ears and they hurt my pride (they were dorky looking). This movie could have done without them, but then, it probably wouldn’t have gotten as many seats filled.
Overall, the movie was terrible, the acting was bad, the story was somewhat entertaining until the end when it became stupid (yes, whatever writer was involved in that mess should be slapped). However, with that being said, the movie is still engaging, in the way that bad B-movies are. So go ahead, if you got nothing better to do and somebody to go with, then by all means, pay your ticket price, pick up your 3D glasses and have a look.
Bonus – B-Roll – Behind the Scene Footage
Here’s a link to the script: https://silenciobarnes.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/My_Bloody_Valentine.pdf
Here’s a link to the official production notes: https://silenciobarnes.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/pro_notes_30.doc