relationships

23 Feb 2013

0 Comments

“Our” Sacrifice

She demanded that I cut open my shell
and let drip my burning soul
onto her frigid altar

The steam, she said, that arises
from such a conflagration
would rekindle that imaginary, burning, thing
that we thought we had lost
so long ago

She hands me the knife,
for no sacrifice is sacred
unless done by one’s own hand

We both held our breath
as I raised the blade to Our neck

And once again, as before
the sharp edge pierces only her

And she bleeds

And I, with impassive serenity,
walk away, as I have before
to leave her (bleeding out)

Her wounds will heal,
though I will provide no aide

So the scars: puckered, pulsating and fierce
shall remain

She will live, that we may play
this game, once again

Who Should Make the First Move?

This is a response to a question asked by a friend on FaceBook

“Ladies, if you like a guy do you make the first move or wait until he moves on you?”

Me: Don’t wait too long – that’s a mistake that women seem to make a lot – some dudes just won’t take that first step until YOU let him know that you’re feeling him some sort of way – that’s why I like bold women – just put it out there in the air ya know, and let him make a decision from there.

However, someone else said something that I didn’t particularly agree with:

Not Me: Actually, the BIG thing that seperates men and women is called common sense. Some men just don’t have any. If a woman is interested, she will let you know in her own way. It may be a glance, a smile, a certain look. She doesn’t always have to get in your face. If you aren’t swift enough to catch on, then like I sad…she needs to keep it moving. men like the chase, in case you didn’t know. It’s your nature. But some men just don’t know it yet. When they grow up to be REAL men, they will.

I left out some inbetween posts for the sake of brevity – I am posting this here because my response was too long to fit on FaceBook and I didn’t wanna post it in sections…so here it is:

Me: @MH It’s not common sense that separates men from women 😛 trust me, just as many men lack it as women – and I can point to a trillion examples of women acting like they have no sense at all. But that goes back to the very nature of what makes a man a man and a woman a woman – but that’s a case for another day:)

And I didn’t wanna turn Saidah’s post into a debate – but I can’t just let those words slide Ms. Herndon – You are drawing a generalization about men that just isn’t true nor right – you are assuming that if we can’t catch onto super subtle hints, then we are not only stupid, but not deserving of said attention to begin with. That’s just harsh – you fail to take into account the human aspect of the whole thing. ie – what if the chick is just a flirt, or god forbid, a tease – what if the dude is shy – what if, what if, what if – the point is, unless one or the other is somewhat blatant, it stands the chance of having all those gestures turning into mixed and confusing symbols on both sides – Not all men like the chase – it’s 2009 – some of US might wanna be chased 😛

According to you, a woman can come to a spot, give a nigga a wink, and he, being a grown up “real” man, will not only get the hint, but immediately move on it. That scenario in and of itself can speak volumes about both parties involved :)) and you’re right, sometimes it works like that – but it doesn’t always, because human beings have different thoughts, different ways of doing things, different senses of propriety etc – I think that what I’m saying is, you are speaking only for yourself in your statement and no one else.

On top of that, there are THREE dudes saying the opposite of you right here on this very thread!!! What the fuck woman?!?!?!?

…damn…I like you 😛

Me: @SK – sorry love, this was the first thing I saw when I log on at work today – didn’t mean to hijack your post 😉 but I haven’t been writing in a while…and this is what happens – think I might blog about this subject…then again, I think I just did =)

The point is, people are different. Don’t wait for somebody to make a move. If you’re interested, take the initiative!

More Random Thoughts from Silencio Barnes

More General Blogging Topics by Silencio Barnes

By: Silencio Barnes Random Thoughts Tags: a-guy-takes-too-long-to-write-back-on-facebook, facebook-post-response, how-to-response-to-a-hello-on-facebook, making the first move, men and women, missed connections, missed signals, post-on-a-guy-you-like-wall, Random Thoughts, relationships, speak up, take the initiative, thoughts, thoughts-for-facebook-wall, who should speak first

29 Apr 2007

0 Comments

When I first started looking at dating sites back in the day I was looking for what most men were looking for, sex. Unfortunately, sex was not to be found. Instead, I’d always come across these no-name sites that wanted you to pay real money just to send an email.

Those days are long gone. Even though nowadays my primary focus has grown up a little and I am no longer searching for that one thing, there are now sites devoted strictly to you finding a sex partner…locally. How convenient is that?

These days I am more about finding someone who vibes with me on a higher level beyond the physical. And, there are plenty of sites and apps for that around as well.

When it comes to dating sites, there are many free ones, and just as many you have to pay for. A lot of hybrid sites exist as well which can offer some free services and some paid or premium features.

I figured if somebody was paying good money then they might be just a little bit more serious than those that frequent the free sites.

Don’t get me wrong, some of the free sites are excellent, but many are basically just social networking sites, rather than pure dating sites. The real and popular “pay for” dating sites remain as sites geared towards you finding a match.

Still, different strokes, as they say. Your idea of a perfect match may vary wildly from my idea of one. However, you can find individual sites tailor-made to anyone’s tastes, desires, or even kink.

Here are some of the well-known dating sites that many people report having good results from. Some of these sites are free, and some you pay for, but all of the pay ones offer some sort of free trial or limited access so you can see if that site is the one for you. So if something here looks appealing, then by all means, give it a try.

*eHarmony.com* – eHarmony seems to stand on top as the most popular at the moment. They make very big claims and I guess they must be doing well because they have a very large advertising budget now (I know you’ve seen the commercials). This is a paid site, but they do offer you a free personality profile (a $40 value) and you can view your matches. They say that their matching system is “SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN”. They also say that “90 eHarmony members get married EVERY DAY”. With claims like that I would highly suggest you give it a try.

Take the first step.
Get your $40 Personality Profile FREE!
View Your Highly Compatible Matches FREE!

It is Possible to Find your Soul Mate… Isn’t it time you experienced the joy of falling in love with someone who sees you, loves you, and accepts you for who you are? This is the kind of joy that comes from true compatibility. And true compatibility is what forms the basis for every relationship at eHarmony.

Experience the joy of true compatibility. Let eHarmony help you begin the journey to your soul mate today.

Why Not Start Now? It’s risk free, so there’s nothing to lose.

*AdultFriendFinder.com* – AdultFriendFinder, I think that the name of this one is pretty self explanatory. AdultFriendFinder is strictly for the grown and sexy. It is a paid subscription site but you can join for free and take advantage of some of it’s features. According to AdultFriendFinder:

“Adult FriendFinder offers a variety of membership packages. Standard membership is free. As a Standard member, you can chat, send instant messages, and browse through our worldwide database of profiles. You also have access to our interactive Magazine, where you can post or answer advice questions or post poetry and articles. There’s plenty to do as a standard member! If you decide you want to speed up your search, consider one of our premium memberships. Premium memberships offer far more privileges and cost as little as 25 cents (or less!) per day.”

Why Become A Member?

grey arrow | Dating Sites | relationships | Indulge yourself and find partners for hot Sexual Encounters and Adult Dating!

grey arrow | Dating Sites | relationships | Anonymously email, chat & instant message with other sexually-liberated members!

grey arrow | Dating Sites | relationships | Explore the erotic lifestyle of millions of people through their Nude Photos and thousands of sexy webcam videos.

With all that being said I will include AdultFriendFinder under both free and pay. But either way, it’s well worth the trip.

AdultFriendFinder also offers several other sites in case you would like to narrow down your search just a little bit more.

Italian FriendFinder – Italian Personals

FriendFinder – Traditional Personals

Asia FriendFinder – Chinese Personals

Filipino FriendFinder – Filipino Personals

OutPersonals – Gay Sex Personals

Gay FriendFinder – Gay Dating Personals

ALT.com – Fetish & BDSM Personals

Korean FriendFinder – Korean Personals

Senior FriendFinder – 40+ Personals

German FriendFinder – German Personals

BigChurch – Christian/Catholic Personals

Indian FriendFinder – Indian Personals

French FriendFinder – French Personals

Jewish FriendFinder – Jewish Personals

Amigos.com – Spanish/Portuguese Personals

Adult FriendFinder – Sex Personals

By: Silencio Barnes Blogging Tags: adultfriendfinder, dating, dating sites, dating-site-under-facebook, dating-sites-in-arkansas, dating-sites-under-facebook, eharmony, facebook-adultfriendfinder, facebook-dating-sites-in-arkansas, freedom-in, general-glogging, how-big-17-week-fetus, idea-freedom, noncommercial-filipina-dating, Online dating service, Personals, phillipina-non-comercial, rap-word, relationships, what-is-freedom

25 Jul 2006

0 Comments

A Need To Fall In Love

A Need to Fall in Love

And she looked at me
Right into these two browns

And Said Child,
You need to fall in love

Well
Well
Well

I’ve started love
I’ve finished love
I’ve learned how words
Can diminish love

I’ve followed roads
To the ends of love
To make a long story short
I’ve been in love

I was in love
I’m still in love
This diamond ring on my pinky
Used to be on her

I wasn’t birthed by love
I was cursed by love

I know that look in her eyes
When I hurt my love
After the promise to her
That I’d never hurt my love

I’ve been blessed by love
I’ve been vexed by love
I’ve been asked those tricky questions
Made to test my love

I know the wistful thoughts
Of unrequited love
I’m ill equipped for love
I’ve gotten sick of love

Listen

I’ve searched for
Found one
And lost me a real love

If love is the fountain
I thirst to be filled up

A
Pause
In
My
Rhythm

Stop

I have had a whole half of me
Forcefully ripped the fuck off
Left bleeding and hurt and broken
Down down down into devastation

But I did not cry

The tears came later
With a phone call

After my verbal prostration
I was told of the new
Improved me
Was politely informed
That it would probably
Be for the best

If we were to never speak again

She hung up
Next day
Changed her number

I have been removed
Replaced by love

I have been in love
With the idea
Of being in love

I have been
And still am
Loved by those
Who accept
The non-
Reciprocation

They find
Our bonds
Are breaking

When they tell me
They love me
And look
In my eyes
And see that I
Will not
Give them
The lie

Sorry

I am not your final destination

Because I know

I know the joys
The fulfillments of love
I know the poets love
The singers love
I know platonic love
A swinger’s love
I’ve had childish loves
I often dream of love
I have spilled out my soul
To redeem a love

I’ve often been told
There’s no such thing as love

And for a while
I believed

Stop

More Poetry by Silencio Barnes

More Poetry from Eternal Figments of Reality

By: Silencio Barnes Poetry, Writing Tags: being in love, Eternal Figments of Reality, feel, losing love, love, love poem, poem about love, poetry, poetry about being in love, poetry about breakups, poetry about losing love, poetry about love, poetry about relationships, relationships, rhyming, stream of consciousness, Writing

___the_broken_melody____by_chernobylpets[1]

16 Apr 2006

0 Comments

Broken Melody

Emotion painted
Upon canvas of
Shivering flesh
A blind artist’s gift

Another holds the hands
Slightly shaking
Sweat drenched grip
Of the one that holds the self

Bitter heart weeps
Cries for the masterpiece
That hangs within flesh
Like anchored soul

Lost light lies
Telling false truths
Prelude to darkness
Life’s epilogue

And anger swells
As anger oft does
As she holds me
Without knowing

Without knowing
Of small particles
That create all that is
And all that was

All emotion
Trapped within
Without they ripple
Upon her skin

We love on levels hidden
You and I silently
Watched by those
With blinded hearts

But eyes can never see
As the cruel can never touch
As she can never touch
What lies within me

What lies within me is void
Of dark that is void of song
Sunless fields
Where nightshade blossoms

Is unchained heart yearning
So strong she feels palpably
So weak in her eyes
That it is barely visible

Tempting a target for temptation
Empty of thought we move
Consciously avoiding thinking
In the end we love

As if in one second
All will be lost

More Poetry by Silencio Barnes

More Poetry from Eternal Figments of Reality

By: Silencio Barnes Poetry, Writing Tags: a-broken-melody-poem, angry love, broken melodies, broken relationships, broken-melody, broken-melody-poem, broken-melody-poems, Eternal Figments of Reality, free verse, poem-having-melody, poems-about-melody, poems-melody, poems-on-melody, poems-with-melody, poetry, poetry about angry love, poetry about relationships, relationships, Writing

1 Dec 2005

0 Comments

Morning

We slowly fell asleep that night
Between us, snoring loudly
Lay our doubts

Our desires lay upon the floor
Dead to the world

Awakened by heat
I found the sun
Where a woman once laid

And my doubts burned away
As yours were quietly laid to rest

More Poetry by Silencio Barnes

More Poetry from Eternal Figments of Reality

By: Silencio Barnes Poetry, Writing Tags: Eternal Figments of Reality, free verse, killing relationship doubts, not going to bed angry, poetry, poetry about morning, poetry about relationships, relationships, sleep on it, waking up, waking up next to you, Writing

11 Nov 2005

0 Comments

Every Minute

Note: This song is old. It was the first full song I ever recorded. I think quality-wise, it sounds terrible. However, to this day, people love the damn thing.

Every Minute by SilencioBarnes

SilencioBarnes – Poet, Lyricist, Rapper etc – find me everywhere else under the same name 🙂 https://silenciobarnes.net for the full scoop I have rap tracks and poetry tracks up here which may be jarr

Lyrics for Every Minute

She was a sign straight from the skies sublime fine sweeter than wine
Honey coated caramel dime beauty defined
A body that would make angels cry
Walking my Earth like Heaven disguised she filled my mind with desires

Like fate rolling the dice we caught contact of eyes
You remind me of my whip baby I wanna ride
Pretty face and round thighs ma you smoother than rhyme
I could never break your heart that would be crueler than time

If time is all we have I won’t be waiting in line
It wasn’t just her physical loved the degrees of her mind
Her soul shined like a precious gem – If love is a crime
Her body moved like the ocean – Then I’m ready to die

Soft spoken like a goddess all knowing inside
She had my head piece floating like a rose on the tide
She like dro omnipotent and I wanna get high
I couldn’t handle what my eyes were scoping – vision of light

I think I need you in my life ma just to get by
I’ll bind your heart with a piece of twine and get that knot tied
…Just to get by
I’ll bind your heart with a piece of twine and get that knot tied

I treasure every minute we together as the time flies
Would never think of breaking up the trust that we abide by
Catch your tears make a wish
I wish I may I wish I might make you my life

Precious gem shining like a diamond in the sunlight
You close to perfection I’m a mess we doing alright
Catch your tears make a wish
I wish I may I wish I might make you my wife

Ma I would never change on you
I’ll still remain the same dude with the game and the age old boots
Because I ain’t spend no cake on you I spent time
And I ain’t spit lines nor played games on you

I ain’t have to you approached me
We both tipsy off the rum that’s how this O G
Realized the time had come for he to be thee
Type of man that has one ebony queen

But baby we beef and the sex is so sweet
And you be testing me but I pass with no cheats
And we been so broke that at times we don’t eat
So that’s how I know that our roots go so deep

Your kiss leaves me weak I place my heart in your keep
Put my soul in these words and these words on this beat
Speakers pumping out my testament of love I think we
Might be just what you and I been dreaming of that’s real speak

I treasure every minute we together as the time flies
Would never think of breaking up the trust that we abide by
Catch your tears make a wish
I wish I may I wish I might make you my life

Precious gem shining like a diamond in the sunlight
You close to perfection I’m a mess we doing alright
Catch your tears make a wish
I wish I may I wish I might make you my wife

Time is you and me holding hands
To the point where I cannot begin to understand where you end and I begin
Time is more than measured spans
It’s that second when our eyes meet and I see that you fully understand

That you need the sort man
That I be and I need the sort woman that can comprehend the things that drive me
More than lovers we’re divine like heavenly participants at least that’s how I see
When you right beside me

And never will we part from life unto death girl
Our lives are intertwined like music and sex girl
Inject you in my veins whenever I need a fix girl
You’re the heart of my world you’re the pressure I’m the pearl

You’re the magnet I’m the steel attracted to this girl
You never hesitate to let me know that this is real
And that’s real I feel that you are a gift girl
Perfection I want you to understand this girl

I treasure every minute we together as the time flies
Would never think of breaking up the trust that we abide by
Catch your tears make a wish
I wish I may I wish I might make you my life

Precious gem shining like a diamond in the sunlight
You close to perfection I’m a mess we doing alright
Catch your tears make a wish
I wish I may I wish I might make you my wife

Production Notes For Every Minute (from 05!)

My lyrics are often violent and full of negativity (for which I make no excuses…that’s just me) but since the majority of my friends here are female I wanted something softer to start with, something sweet.

However I do not have many lyrics that could be considered “for the ladies”. That’s why this song is an amalgamation of all of my more female-centric verses.

The first verse was written years ago and I always planned on using it with an R&B song (you know, the prerequisite rap part). But since I never actually pursued a musical career nothing ever came of it.

The second verse was more recent, about four to six months old. I wrote it at the request of a friend to put on a similar track of his. The track was never finished correctly so I used the verse on this one.

The third verse presented a problem. I found out that of all of my lyrics I only had those first two verses, so I had to make this one on the spot from scratch. I was at a loss to what the say, so I borrowed a line from one of my poems (Time) and went from there.

The chorus is from a first draft of the second verse. The guy singing it is my man Kaz. The mp3 on here does him no justice; neither does the shitty recording environment we used. He has a pleasing somewhat raspy singing voice. Originally I was going to do the chorus myself (not sing) but got him to do it at the last moment.

The beat is by a guy named Flip Magoo. I got a few instrumental files of his on a torrent site and I like them. But I cannot actually find the guy. I need to get in contact with him. It has an odd reggae ambiance feel to it that I liked.

This was recorded in a closet using Adobe Audition CC and a condenser mic. It was never properly mixed down (as I have no technical musical knowledge whatsoever) and can never be mastered (as I can not afford a studio nor an engineer).

As it stands I would love to record it professionally or at least in a halfway decent studio (or even a not so decent one) because I think it has commercial appeal and could be a hit.

More Music by SilencioBarnes

More Lyrics by SilencioBarnes