Who Should Make the First Move?

This is a response to a question asked by a friend on FaceBook

“Ladies, if you like a guy do you make the first move or wait until he moves on you?”

Me: Don’t wait too long – that’s a mistake that women seem to make a lot – some dudes just won’t take that first step until YOU let him know that you’re feeling him some sort of way – that’s why I like bold women – just put it out there in the air ya know, and let him make a decision from there.

However, someone else said something that I didn’t particularly agree with:

Not Me: Actually, the BIG thing that seperates men and women is called common sense. Some men just don’t have any. If a woman is interested, she will let you know in her own way. It may be a glance, a smile, a certain look. She doesn’t always have to get in your face. If you aren’t swift enough to catch on, then like I sad…she needs to keep it moving. men like the chase, in case you didn’t know. It’s your nature. But some men just don’t know it yet. When they grow up to be REAL men, they will.

I left out some inbetween posts for the sake of brevity – I am posting this here because my response was too long to fit on FaceBook and I didn’t wanna post it in sections…so here it is:

Me: @MH It’s not common sense that separates men from women 😛 trust me, just as many men lack it as women – and I can point to a trillion examples of women acting like they have no sense at all. But that goes back to the very nature of what makes a man a man and a woman a woman – but that’s a case for another day:)

And I didn’t wanna turn Saidah’s post into a debate – but I can’t just let those words slide Ms. Herndon – You are drawing a generalization about men that just isn’t true nor right – you are assuming that if we can’t catch onto super subtle hints, then we are not only stupid, but not deserving of said attention to begin with. That’s just harsh – you fail to take into account the human aspect of the whole thing. ie – what if the chick is just a flirt, or god forbid, a tease – what if the dude is shy – what if, what if, what if – the point is, unless one or the other is somewhat blatant, it stands the chance of having all those gestures turning into mixed and confusing symbols on both sides – Not all men like the chase – it’s 2009 – some of US might wanna be chased 😛

According to you, a woman can come to a spot, give a nigga a wink, and he, being a grown up “real” man, will not only get the hint, but immediately move on it. That scenario in and of itself can speak volumes about both parties involved :)) and you’re right, sometimes it works like that – but it doesn’t always, because human beings have different thoughts, different ways of doing things, different senses of propriety etc – I think that what I’m saying is, you are speaking only for yourself in your statement and no one else.

On top of that, there are THREE dudes saying the opposite of you right here on this very thread!!! What the fuck woman?!?!?!?

…damn…I like you 😛

Me: @SK – sorry love, this was the first thing I saw when I log on at work today – didn’t mean to hijack your post 😉 but I haven’t been writing in a while…and this is what happens – think I might blog about this subject…then again, I think I just did =)

The point is, people are different. Don’t wait for somebody to make a move. If you’re interested, take the initiative!

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