Below you will find an exercise and an explanation of how fourteeners and iambic heptameter works in writing poetry. You will see three different versions of the same poem with the changes highlighted.
I want to preface this with the fact that I may have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about. Always do your own research. That’s why I supply hyperlinks!
Here’s an exercise in creating some traditional (European) forms of poetry. It started with me writing a quick, off-the-cuff poem on my Facebook page. Now, this poem was not meant to be blogged or advertised or anything. It was just something quick and dirty.
I wrote the poem in rhyming quatrains without really thinking about it. This is not unusual as I tend to automatically fall to quatrains a lot when I’m just writing. I suspect it comes from me writing a lot of lyrics, specifically rap lyrics, which I tend to think of in terms of quatrains (16 bars — 1 bar being a line — is 4 quatrains for me).
I found myself wanting to share something of the poetry writing process with my audience — such as it is. Especially those who ask me about my process. Well, this is not specifically my process, but it is a process that you can use.
So here’s the poem. I even recorded it, which you can hear in this post. The recording is the original, unedited version. I may re-record the final version.
The king in all his wisdom saw that something was amiss
The priest, forever pious, saw that something did not fit
And both saw a solution that they knew did not exist
Genocide of mind created so that they could get their wish
Well the king he knew the way he simply told them what to do
And they did it; he was pleased but felt that something was not true
Do they do it off his word or is it just what people do?
Are they slaves by birth or slaves because he wants it to be true?
To test the thought he gave some extra freedoms to one man
And saw the others did not like it, they couldn't comprehend
How one man ('cept the king of course) could be allowed to stand
Above the others, who was he that they should have to bend
They ridiculed him, cast him down and made of him a fool
The king was highly pleased at this and saw it as a tool
As long as scapegoats kept them riled they cared not that he ruled
Therefore, his rule was absolute; fair, unfair or cruel
The priest, he witnessed all of this and had a great idea
He saw that people were like sheep; in his mind it became clear
He would supplant the king and plant within them all a new idea
Once he had their minds and souls, their vision he would then make clear
For if they see what he believes (or at least what he claims to see)
They will see a promise greater than themselves, they will be free
"For you see, the king has made you slaves and I shall make you free.
But in order to be free you must believe and pay the fee.
And of course, that freedom is promised, when at last you lay to rest
Give money to the church and turn the cheek when you're beset.
So…technically, you're still a slave but when you die, you will be blessed!
So obey the king, but give to me...I mean give to God's request!"
The king in all his wisdom saw that something was amiss
The priest, forever pious, saw that something did not fit
And both saw a solution that they knew did not exist
Genocide of mind created so that they could get their wish
What is a Fourteener in Poetry Writing?
My first stanza contains three fourteeners. A fourteener is a 14 syllable line. Alone, you can consider a fourteener as a type of syllabic poetry — which is its own category of poetry types. You may have also noticed I used a repeating rhyme to introduce the king and then again to introduce the priest. You may also note I used the word “free” twice, back to back…like I said, this poem wasn’t for the mainstream.
A good chunk of this poem is already naturally written as a fourteener. This was not by design, it’s just how it came out. That’s how a lot of writing is, especially when employing any sort of rhythm. So, if you’re new to this, don’t beat yourself up trying to create a specific meter, just write and see what you get. You can make a better decision from there.
Let’s see if we can transform this poem into all fourteeners. In order to do this, we may have to change some lines up but still keep the overall meaning. Could be challenging. I’ll be right back with the results.
The king in all his wisdom saw that something was amiss
The priest, forever pious, saw that something did not fit
And both saw a solution that they knew did not exist
Create a genocide of minds so they could get their wish
The king he knew the way he simply told them what to do
They did it; he was pleased but felt that something was not true
Do they do it off his word? Is it just what people do?
Are they born slaves or slaves because he wants it to be true?
To test the thought he gave some extra freedoms to one man
The others did not like it, they just could not comprehend
How one man ('cept the king of course) could be allowed to stand
Above the others, who was he that they should have to bend
They ridiculed him, cast him down and made of him a fool
The king was highly pleased at this and saw it as a tool
As long as scapegoats kept them riled they cared not that he ruled
So his rule was absolute, whether fair, unfair or cruel
The priest, he witnessed all of this and had a great idea
He saw people were like sheep; in his mind it became clear
Supplant the king and plant within them all a new idea
Once he had their minds and souls, their vision he would make clear
If they can see what he believes (or what he claims to see)
They’ll see a promise greater than themselves, they will be free
"For you see, the king has made you slaves, I shall make you free.
In order to be free you must believe and pay the fee.Of course, that freedom is promised, when last you lay to rest
Give money to the church and turn the cheek when you're beset.
Technically, you're still a slave but when you die, you’ll be blessed!
Obey the king, but give to me! I mean, to God's request!"
The king in all his wisdom saw that something was amiss
The priest, forever pious, saw that something did not fit
And both saw a solution that they knew did not exist
Create a genocide of minds so they could get their wish
Okay, so now we got it formatted. Each line is 14 syllables long. You’ll notice that this made it flow smoother in some places, but made it really awkward in others. The reason for this is because I payed attention to syllable count but not meter.
Fourteener’s do no necessarily have to be written how I have it here. It’s possible to break the lines as long as they equal up to 14 syllables. In fact, most fourteener’s that I’ve seen are written in couplets and not quatrains like these.
They can also be broken further down, as long as they contain 7 feet and 14 syllables, which brings us to:
What is Iambic Heptameter in Poetry Writing?
So, we’re going to try to tighten this poem up further by attempting to restrict it to iambic heptameter. What was that you ask? What IS iambic heptameter?
Iambic heptameter is a meter expressed in 7 feet. A foot is a small measurement of meter, usually in syllables. For instance, an iamb is a two-syllable metrical foot. An iamb consists of an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed one or a short syllable followed by a long one. Think of it as “da-DUM” – that’s one iamb.
Heptameter is a word that means a meter of 7 iambs. So, 7 iambs gives ya 14 syllables…get it?
There are other types of feet as well, so you don’t have to stick to just iambs, you can mix and match em with others…as long as you know what you’re doing. Let’s get into some examples with this piece.
“The king in all his wisdom saw that something was amiss” – this line is perfect. It flows correctly in iambic heptameter. 14 syllables, 7 iambs – well, maybe not perfect. Depends on how you read it.
But this is how we want ALL of the lines to be.
Oh, one more thing. Did you notice the strikeout I put on the word “and” in the third line? It’s because that word does not have to be there to keep the meter straight. A space of time can be the same as a syllable. Understand?
So, let’s see if we can tame this poem into iambic heptameter.
No, I’m not going to go through this word for word. Instead, I’m going to read it out loud. Wherever I stumble or become unsure of how I should say it, is a place where the meter is screwed. You can also try to read it with a metronome, that can be a great help as well.
Something you should remember though – not all strict meter is always good. You don’t have to constrict your verse for the sake of meter. Many great poets break meter regularly to keep the flow tight. Or to make a specific sort of statement.
For instance, I was okay with how this poem originally sounded when I read it out loud…more or less. By tying it up with meter, I’m less satisfied. Meter can force you to sound almost robotic when it’s not mixed up a bit now and then. Also, a fourteener does NOT have to be in heptameter. They traditionally are, but it’s up to your own discretion.
The king in all his wisdom saw that something was amiss
The priest, forever pious, saw that something did not fit
And both saw a solution that they knew did not exist
Create a genocide of minds so they could get their wish
The king he knew the way he simply told them what to do
They did it, he was pleased but felt that something was not true
Do they just obey his words? Was it just what people do?
Are they born slaves or slaves because he wants it to be true?
To test the thought he gave some extra freedoms to one man
The others did not like it, they just could not comprehend
How one man ('cept the king of course) could be allowed to stand
Above the others, who was he that they should have to bend
They ridiculed him, cast him down and made of him a fool
The king was highly pleased at this and saw it as a tool
As long as scapegoats kept them riled they cared not that he ruled
So his rule was absolute, fair or foul, unfair or cruel
The priest, he witnessed all of this and had a great idea
The people were like unto sheep, his purpose became clear
Supplant the king and plant within them all a new idea
Once he owns their minds and souls, it’s their vision he’d make clear
If they can see what he believes (or what he claims to see)
They’ll see a promise greater than themselves, these devotees
"For you see, the king has made you slaves, I shall make you free.
In order to be free you must believe and pay the fee.
Of course that promised freedom, comes along with final rest
Give money to the church and turn the cheek when you're beset.
Technically, you're still a slave, when you die, you’ll all be blessed!
Obey the king, but give to me! I mean, to God's request!"
The king in all his wisdom saw that something was amiss
The priest, forever pious, saw that something did not fit
And both saw a solution that they knew did not exist
Create a genocide of minds so they could get their wish
Well, that’s that. Now, there’s a bunch of different things I could have done to mix it up and make it fresh. I could have broken the rules of meter, or I could have used something other than iambic heptameter. I could have used alternating 12 and 14 syllable couplets or something. There are an infinite amount of possibilities.
In fact, a more traditional way of breaking up a fourteener in iambic heptameter is to split it between two lines, typically 4 iambs on one and 3 on the other:
The king in all his wisdom saw That something was amiss
The priest forever pious saw That something did not fit
But that would have created an overly lengthy looking poem. However, if I were to take the next step in constricting this poem even further, I would go about breaking it down into this 4/3 iamb structure…but this post has gone on long enough.
Even as it is, I’m sure I didn’t fully accomplish what I was trying to do. The poem needs more work. Maybe somebody who studies these things will chime in and let me know where I erred. This was actually my first time — outside of writing a sonnet in high school — intentionally trying to dissect my verse to give it a specific meter.
I notice, the more practiced make it seem so fluid smooth
I’ll try to practice up until I too can do that too
For further application, you can use these poetic tools in writing other things as well. Apply them to lyrics if you’re looking for a specific sort of cadence — especially devastating when applied to head nodding beats. Use meter in your prose or fiction when you want to convey a specific feeling.
Meter doesn’t mean rhyme. Blank verse consists of unrhymed poetry written in a specific meter. You can use that sort of thing with any writing, not just poetry. Experiment with other forms of meter and different feet. I’ll do the same.
For more information on iambic heptameter and poetry writing:
Things I Have Loved – Frankie (@idowhatilike) – has a blog where pretty much every post is written in iambic heptameter. She hasn’t been around for some years now, but the words are still there.
communal iambic heptameter – forum thread I found with a communal iambic heptameter thing going. It’s probably the best for seeing how different people use it. Some of them are real witty.
I’m often asked where the name SilencioBarnes comes from. There’s no big mystery. Here’s where the name comes from, and what it means.
What’s In a Name?
If you were called by anything else…wouldn’t you still be you? I’ve had quite a few names over time. Here’s a non-exhaustive list:
Lil Shady (after a name they used to call my father)
Preacher (from how I spoke when I was younger)
Malcolm (from how I carried myself…and talked, in my youth)
Poet or Poetry (for obvious reasons)
Nalij (Knowledge)
Barnes (or Mr. Barnes)
I have a few more names besides. I still answer to any of them, or whatever else people choose to call me. But, SilencioBarnes (or Silence Born) is the name I’ve settled on.
SilencioBarnes is an amalgamation of two different names: Silencio (Silence) and Nalij Barnes (Knowledge Born). SilencioBarnes is in CamelCase when used as a stage name. It’s separated into Silencio Barnes when used in any other context.
Barnes (Born)
I’ll start with the Barnes part, as that came first. Around my way, I chose the name Nalij for myself (a bastardization of Knowledge). I felt the name suited me and my personality. Even the deliberate misspelling came from my idea of twisted knowledge.
To this day, I’m still known as Nalij (or Barnes) to many, and I readily answer to it. At the time, I was also on my 5 Percenter shit, studying my 120. Barnes is a bastardization of the word Born. Born is represented by the #9 in Supreme Mathematics, and Knowledge by the #1.
When the movie Belly came out, there was a character named Knowledge in it (the name Knowledge is ubiquitous among the Nation of Gods and Earths). At one point, a character played by Method Man greets him with “Knowledge Born! What’s the Science?!” This phrase spread around the hood like wildfire. From then on, anytime I was introduced as Nalij, somebody would inevitably say that catchphrase…it stuck.
Understand, when you say “Born,” it comes out sounding like “Bones” or “Barnes.” That’s just hood vernacular. After some time, people dropped the Nalij and just called me Barnes, or Bones.
Silencio (Silence)
Silencio – well, that’s a different story. I went to a trade school, Cassadaga Job Corps, to be exact. While there, my initial reticence to talk much around strangers led to the Hispanic kids calling me Silencio. It stuck. After a while, everybody called me Silence or Silencio.
I liked the name and ran with it. It fit who I was at that place and time. I also wanted to get away from the GodBody/5 Percenter stuff as it no longer held any interest for me. I always appreciated the core concepts, but building with the Gods can get to be a little too much. Imagine talking geopolitics and race relations with a dude named C Peace Cipher Divine I Allah who throws more slang, acronyms, abbreviations, big words, and metaphors at you than you can process (in ONE sentence!), and you’ll get the picture.
Putting it Together
I was thinking of doing something more professional with my poetry and music, and wanted a unique stage name. I did a search for Nalij and found there was a million of them out there. Still, I identified with Nalij most, so I was at a loss. I came up with the idea of putting the Silencio with the Barnes. I thought it was rather clever and unique (yes, I know it’s a mouthful at 5 syllables).
There is a special spiritual and poetic significance to my name as well. My name plays with the concept of Silence and the idea of Born or Birth. Sometimes it pops up in my works. For example, here’s the chorus of my short track challenge song, Silk:
I think, therefore I stay in form, with darkness comes the quiet storm
Within that storm my thought is formed, and that is where my Silence Borns
And, sometimes, it just means to bear the weight of silence. Get it? No? Well, fuck it, I tried.
Also, if you actually just read all of that…then I love you. Seriously.
The Five-Percent Nation, sometimes referred to as the Five Percenters or the Nation of Gods and Earths ( NGE/ NOGE), is a black supremacist movement influenced by the Nation of Islam founded in 1964 in the Harlem section of the borough of Manhattan, New York City, by Clarence 13X, a former member of the Nation of Islam who was previously known as Clarence Edward Smith.
I haven’t been writing poetry consistently for a good long while now, it’s hard to get back into that deliberate mindset
I haven’t tried to write poetry specifically for publication in years – it’s a different process…
I am using several different methods for trying to write these poems, some of which are very new to me
I’ve also been writing a bunch of haiku as well…but that’s something different 🙂
I’ve never really thought about the ocean before. I mean…not poetically. I don’t swim (can’t) and I never really spent a lot of time at the beach or on a boat. But I do appreciate the ocean as an entity. A giver and sustainer of life.
With that being said, I wanted to come from a unique angle and I’ve had a few ideas. For instance: I noticed that when I moved to PA, something was missing. I didn’t know what it was, but I realized when I took a trip back to my hometown (Amityville NY on Long Island) that what was missing, was the presence of the ocean. I never noticed nor payed attention to the vibe you get by being close to the ocean, after all, I was born and raised close to it. Nope, didn’t notice it…until it was no longer there to feel.
I think I found something to explore in that. I recorded some audio of me talking about the experience. I’m going to use that to craft a poem or two (that was one of the new methods I’m trying :).
I’ve also had a few other ideas and have already written a few poems that I’m letting incubate…and I’m actually kind of sad that I can’t share the work with you all 🙁 I want to, but many places consider online publication (even on a personal website) to be a relinquishing of first time rights (which is what most publications buy) and sometimes, electronic rights too.
But we can talk about the ocean! And if anybody would want to share some words here in the comments – or on facebook or twitter – on the subject, then feel free.
So, apparently there’s been a recall on cantaloupes of all things. Specifically cantaloupes from Colorado carrying the Listeria bacteria which causes Listeriosis.
Listeriosis, a serious infection usually caused by eating food contaminated with the bacterium Listeria monocytogenes, is an important public health problem in the United States. The disease primarily affects older adults, pregnant women, newborns, and adults with weakened immune systems. However, rarely, persons without these risk factors can also be affected. The risk may be reduced by following a few simple recommendations.
What are the symptoms of listeriosis?
A person with listeriosis usually has fever and muscle aches, often preceded by diarrhea or other gastrointestinal symptoms. Almost everyone who is diagnosed with listeriosis has “invasive” infection, in which the bacteria spread beyond the gastrointestinal tract. The symptoms vary with the infected person:
Pregnant women: Pregnant women typically experience only a mild, flu-like illness. However, infections during pregnancy can lead to miscarriage, stillbirth, premature delivery, or life-threatening infection of the newborn.
Persons other than pregnant women: Symptoms, in addition to fever and muscle aches, can include headache, stiff neck, confusion, loss of balance, and convulsions.
As of 11am EDT on September 26, 2011, a total of 72 persons infected with the four outbreak-associated strains of Listeriamonocytogenes have been reported to CDC from 18 states. All illnesses started on or after July 31, 2011. The number of infected persons identified in each state is as follows: California (1), Colorado (15), Florida (1), Illinois (1), Indiana (2), Kansas (5), Maryland (1), Missouri (1), Montana (1), Nebraska (6), New Mexico (10), North Dakota (1), Oklahoma (8), Texas (14), Virginia (1), West Virginia (1), Wisconsin (2), and Wyoming (1).
Thirteen deaths have been reported: 2 in Colorado, 1 in Kansas, 1 in Maryland, 1 in Missouri, 1 in Nebraska, 4 in New Mexico, 1 in Oklahoma, and 2 in Texas.
I ran into all types of issues while trying to put this track together…but I won’t bore you with the details.
I thought this track up while…walking down an empty hallway at work. It was as if the environment lent itself to self-evaluation. So, I asked questions…but the hallway remained silent.
As usual, it probably sounded better in my head than it does recorded. I used another one of those Big B beats, it’s called Twisted, and I thought it worked well for the what I was trying to do (in my head) – maybe he’ll take the acappella and throw it onto another beat. Let me know what you think people.
Lyrics to “Empty Hallways”
In an empty hallway, I let my mental float Hoping that it reaches a so much better coast I ask my fading hopes for the things I want the most But it’s just an empty hallway, quiet as a ghost
Where did all my time go, where are all my folks Caught up in day to day or struggling I suppose Where are all my old friends, they vanished in the smoke Caught up in the hustle or chasing after hoes
Maybe I’m just bitter cuz I feel I’m getting old And the things I’m used to doing don’t do much for me no more So maybe I’ve been searching for that thing that makes my core glow Maybe I’m just fooling myself, maybe I’m just bored though
Don’t ask about the future cuz no one ever knows They say they going somewhere but no one ever goes They claim they know the secret but no one ever shows Man, that secret they can keep it, I’m on another road
I’m driving in the fast lane but they moving too slow Everything is my way, it’s fucking up my flow Poisoning my baby food, they don’t want me to grow Please don’t think I’m greedy when I say I’m bout the dough
In an empty hallway, I let my mental float Hoping that it reaches a so much better coast I ask my fading hopes for the things I want the most But it’s just an empty hallway, quiet as a ghost
I got demons on the inside telling me attack Demons on the outside riding on my back Angels keep on falling tryna keep my ass on track But my angels lack the gumption so they let me fade to black
They are not the reason this is not their fault Sometimes I keep my feelings locked inside my vault When I pull them out people seem to be appalled So I gotta put them back in and switch to my default
The last time it was all good I really can’t recall They say to keep your pride but that comes before the fall They say if I need help all I gotta do is call But when I make the call they say they can’t help at all so
They ask me if I love them, I keep them so enthralled They ask me for my love but first I have to make them crawl Sometimes I get so caught up I forget that it’s all false It’s just another memory that plagues this empty hall
So, I hooked up my microphone for the first time in this new room just to see how it sounds. I had the urge to wanna start recording again so I made this test track using some old lyrics on an old Big B beat.
The result? Well…terrible. But I expected that. The problem is, the room is kinda cavernous, plus, it’s untreated in anyway. The next problem is something I never really stopped to think about too much: the fact that I’m recording over low quality mp3’s – Now any studio engineer will tell you that they dread when an artist comes in and hands them the track they are going to be recording over as an mp3, already mastered, already deadened by the conversion process etc. – They have a few tricks that help, but I’m not so musically inclined. I just don’t have the ears.
So after this next batch of songs, I’ll only be recording over beats I can find tracked out, uncompressed or at least in .wav format. Barring that, the mp3 has to be 320kbs, no less. Something I have to tell Big B since he tends to send me mp3s in the 128-192kbps range. It especially hurts because I tend to record at like 88k/32bit :)) Upconverting an mp3 to that just so I can rhyme over it is kinda overkill.
Another problem is mixing…I have no monitors! So all of my, ahem, mixing (or close proximity thereof) is done in headphones…which is a big no-no. I try to play the tracks on different devices to see how it sounds (usually terrible) but it’s kinda pointless and tedious without the monitors.
Anywho, here is the track. Keep in mind it’s a test track…using lyrics from a thousand years ago :)) You should probably listen to it through headphones, and for the love of Saint Cecilia please don’t attempt to turn it up loud! You’ll regret it :))
Filename Bullet2Heart.mp3 Title Bullet2Heart Artist SilencioBarnes Album PracticeWordz Year 2011 Genre Rap Bitrate 320 Freq 44100 Duration 0:02:41 Size 6.3 Mb
See Mixing and Mastering My Sound part 1 for more complaing 🙂
A gritty mind-bending thriller about three twenty-somethings who find themselves in an impossible time labyrinth, where each day they awaken to the same terrifying day as the preceding one.
The other day, I sat down and watched this movie, Repeaters. I hadn’t previously heard of it, but saw that it was recommended here and there as a new sci-fi-ish movie that was worth a look. All-in-all…it was an okay movie. Just okay. I mean, your mileage may vary, but it’s a decent watch.
I suppose it’s impossible to talk about this movie without first talking about Groundhog Day. And I KNOW you’ve seen Groundhog Day. If you haven’t, then you should immediately get a copy however you choose and watch it before reading anymore of this article. Go ahead…I’ll wait.
Now, if you’ve seen Groundhog Day, you probably walked away from it thinking something like: “If that was me, I would’ve (insert heinous/criminal act)” – Well, Repeaters is sorta like that. But instead of Bill Murray, it’s three twenty-something-year-old recovering addicts…in rehab. Yes…hilarity ensues.
Well, not really. This is a very serious and dark movie. There are scenes and situations that will make the darker-hearted of us laugh…but they might make some of you cringe as well. Is it a very good movie? I wouldn’t say so. But it’s adequate.
The Characters in Repeaters
It’s a Canadian flick which I didn’t know until after watching it. It stars a few faces you may remember like Dustin Milligan, Amanada Crew (both were in Final Destination 3) and Richard de Klerk. All three of these actors have spent a lot of time doing television (US and Canadian), so they’re not exactly newbies to the screen.
The script called for a few scenes that were supposed to make you feel something for these people, but in the end, I didn’t really care. The actors performed within the confines of the lines given them, but none of them transcended their roles in any way. Well, Richard de Klerk gave it a good try. I think this may be one of those movies where the script is better than the final product.
Ultimately, I think this movie is asking us what would we do if we knew each new day started with a clean slate, no matter what you may have done the day before. I’m sure there are also a few metaphors involving addicts and how, to them, each day is just like any other when your sole raison d’etre is chasing that next fix.
I don’t know. But the Canadians certainly loved it. I found it an entertaining escape and well worth a watch. Maybe with a friend or two and some smoke in the air. There’s enough tension and action to keep your eyes on the screen. There’s also enough to drive some deep philosophical and intellectual discussion…if you’re into that sorta thing.
I think this movie would have been so, so much better…if Groundhog Day didn’t exist.
I never send any of these bulk emails, mainly because I don’t have anything to sell. But somebody reminded me that even without trying to make some money, I should still keep in contact with the folks that choose to be fans of what I do.
I love all of y’all. Thanks for checking me out and liking me enough to want to hear more from me. I’m damn near 30 and that still warms my heart.
So, I just wanted y’all to know, I’m very active on twitter and Facebook, and you can feel free to come “like” me.
I also have a website which has a little something on there for everybody. All of my music, poetry and videos are there, and a lot of other things as well. Feel free to come take a look. Everything on there is freely available from my tracks, to my poetry chapbook, and all of my recordings. Feel free to use whatever ya want.
That’s pretty much it, just wanted to remind you all that I’m still here and still concocting creative cocktails. Any questions? Ideas, collab requests (of any sort) then feel free to drop me a line – either through my site, on twitter, or on Facebook. I’ll get back to ya
Just a quickie 🙂 Lyrics, alternative downloads, the acapella, and more info on the track itself can be found here: http://silenciobarnes.net/music/child-of-kings/
About “Child of Kings”
Child of Kings is actually the last track I finished for my Track Every Other Day Challenge – It’s a short and quick rap song like the others in that series. It uses a Three-Six Mafia beat I found in one of these instrumental collections. It’s one song that I was actually really proud of…why? I dunno, but I sure as hell like playing it. Maybe you will too.
Lyrics for “Child of Kings”
I am not the child of kings I’m more like the son of Kong I detest those that arrest I respect a person’s calm
I don’t preach for anarchy I’m more the type to say salaam Reject my peace then feel the heat Leave nothing left to be embalmed
This is not the greatest storm This is not the biggest bomb I am like a Saiyan nigga This is not my final form
I transform, be forewarned Power up then get it on Violence comes before reform That is where my word is born
I can’t break it, word is bond I can make it, come along We can take it, make it ours Turn it to another song
I can’t break it, word is bond I can make it, come along We can take it, make it ours Turn it to another song
They frontin’ and they owe you dough Hit em with the okie-doke They nothing, everybody knows They bullies lookin’ for a show
Hit em with the Obi Wan Show them hoes you got the glow Times is different, different flow But same old bull from long ago
These youngins think they moving fast But they brains be moving slow They quick to shoot, quick to stab But slow to see where they can go
They fill they cups with bitter woe Fill they nose with candy blow They get hyped up until the point They can’t distinguish friend from foe
I can’t break it, word is bond I can make it, come along We can take it, make it ours Turn it to another song
I can’t break it, word is bond I can make it, come along We can take it, make it ours Turn it to another song
I have a few more names besides. I still answer to any of them, or whatever else people choose to call me. But, SilencioBarnes (or Silence Born) is the name I’ve settled on.
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![repeaters-film-2[1]](https://i0.wp.com/silenciobarnes.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/repeaters-film-21.jpg "Repeaters 7")
![repaterscrop082010[1]](https://i0.wp.com/silenciobarnes.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/repaterscrop0820101.jpg "Repeaters 8")
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27 Oct 2011
1 CommentPoetry Writing 101: The Fourteener and Iambic Heptameter
Writing Poetry: Fourteeners and Iambic Heptameter
Below you will find an exercise and an explanation of how fourteeners and iambic heptameter works in writing poetry. You will see three different versions of the same poem with the changes highlighted.
Here’s an exercise in creating some traditional (European) forms of poetry. It started with me writing a quick, off-the-cuff poem on my Facebook page. Now, this poem was not meant to be blogged or advertised or anything. It was just something quick and dirty.
I wrote the poem in rhyming quatrains without really thinking about it. This is not unusual as I tend to automatically fall to quatrains a lot when I’m just writing. I suspect it comes from me writing a lot of lyrics, specifically rap lyrics, which I tend to think of in terms of quatrains (16 bars — 1 bar being a line — is 4 quatrains for me).
I found myself wanting to share something of the poetry writing process with my audience — such as it is. Especially those who ask me about my process. Well, this is not specifically my process, but it is a process that you can use.
So here’s the poem. I even recorded it, which you can hear in this post. The recording is the original, unedited version. I may re-record the final version.
The king in all his wisdom saw that something was amiss The priest, forever pious, saw that something did not fit And both saw a solution that they knew did not exist Genocide of mind created so that they could get their wish Well the king he knew the way he simply told them what to do And they did it; he was pleased but felt that something was not true Do they do it off his word or is it just what people do? Are they slaves by birth or slaves because he wants it to be true? To test the thought he gave some extra freedoms to one man And saw the others did not like it, they couldn't comprehend How one man ('cept the king of course) could be allowed to stand Above the others, who was he that they should have to bend They ridiculed him, cast him down and made of him a fool The king was highly pleased at this and saw it as a tool As long as scapegoats kept them riled they cared not that he ruled Therefore, his rule was absolute; fair, unfair or cruel The priest, he witnessed all of this and had a great idea He saw that people were like sheep; in his mind it became clear He would supplant the king and plant within them all a new idea Once he had their minds and souls, their vision he would then make clear For if they see what he believes (or at least what he claims to see) They will see a promise greater than themselves, they will be free "For you see, the king has made you slaves and I shall make you free. But in order to be free you must believe and pay the fee. And of course, that freedom is promised, when at last you lay to rest Give money to the church and turn the cheek when you're beset. So…technically, you're still a slave but when you die, you will be blessed! So obey the king, but give to me...I mean give to God's request!" The king in all his wisdom saw that something was amiss The priest, forever pious, saw that something did not fit And both saw a solution that they knew did not exist Genocide of mind created so that they could get their wishWhat is a Fourteener in Poetry Writing?
My first stanza contains three fourteeners. A fourteener is a 14 syllable line. Alone, you can consider a fourteener as a type of syllabic poetry — which is its own category of poetry types. You may have also noticed I used a repeating rhyme to introduce the king and then again to introduce the priest. You may also note I used the word “free” twice, back to back…like I said, this poem wasn’t for the mainstream.
A good chunk of this poem is already naturally written as a fourteener. This was not by design, it’s just how it came out. That’s how a lot of writing is, especially when employing any sort of rhythm. So, if you’re new to this, don’t beat yourself up trying to create a specific meter, just write and see what you get. You can make a better decision from there.
Let’s see if we can transform this poem into all fourteeners. In order to do this, we may have to change some lines up but still keep the overall meaning. Could be challenging. I’ll be right back with the results.
Okay, so now we got it formatted. Each line is 14 syllables long. You’ll notice that this made it flow smoother in some places, but made it really awkward in others. The reason for this is because I payed attention to syllable count but not meter.
Fourteener’s do no necessarily have to be written how I have it here. It’s possible to break the lines as long as they equal up to 14 syllables. In fact, most fourteener’s that I’ve seen are written in couplets and not quatrains like these.
They can also be broken further down, as long as they contain 7 feet and 14 syllables, which brings us to:
What is Iambic Heptameter in Poetry Writing?
So, we’re going to try to tighten this poem up further by attempting to restrict it to iambic heptameter. What was that you ask? What IS iambic heptameter?
Iambic heptameter is a meter expressed in 7 feet. A foot is a small measurement of meter, usually in syllables. For instance, an iamb is a two-syllable metrical foot. An iamb consists of an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed one or a short syllable followed by a long one. Think of it as “da-DUM” – that’s one iamb.
Heptameter is a word that means a meter of 7 iambs. So, 7 iambs gives ya 14 syllables…get it?
There are other types of feet as well, so you don’t have to stick to just iambs, you can mix and match em with others…as long as you know what you’re doing. Let’s get into some examples with this piece.
“The king in all his wisdom saw that something was amiss” – this line is perfect. It flows correctly in iambic heptameter. 14 syllables, 7 iambs – well, maybe not perfect. Depends on how you read it.
But this is how we want ALL of the lines to be.
Oh, one more thing. Did you notice the strikeout I put on the word “and” in the third line? It’s because that word does not have to be there to keep the meter straight. A space of time can be the same as a syllable. Understand?
So, let’s see if we can tame this poem into iambic heptameter.
No, I’m not going to go through this word for word. Instead, I’m going to read it out loud. Wherever I stumble or become unsure of how I should say it, is a place where the meter is screwed. You can also try to read it with a metronome, that can be a great help as well.
Something you should remember though – not all strict meter is always good. You don’t have to constrict your verse for the sake of meter. Many great poets break meter regularly to keep the flow tight. Or to make a specific sort of statement.
For instance, I was okay with how this poem originally sounded when I read it out loud…more or less. By tying it up with meter, I’m less satisfied. Meter can force you to sound almost robotic when it’s not mixed up a bit now and then. Also, a fourteener does NOT have to be in heptameter. They traditionally are, but it’s up to your own discretion.
Well, that’s that. Now, there’s a bunch of different things I could have done to mix it up and make it fresh. I could have broken the rules of meter, or I could have used something other than iambic heptameter. I could have used alternating 12 and 14 syllable couplets or something. There are an infinite amount of possibilities.
In fact, a more traditional way of breaking up a fourteener in iambic heptameter is to split it between two lines, typically 4 iambs on one and 3 on the other:
But that would have created an overly lengthy looking poem. However, if I were to take the next step in constricting this poem even further, I would go about breaking it down into this 4/3 iamb structure…but this post has gone on long enough.
Even as it is, I’m sure I didn’t fully accomplish what I was trying to do. The poem needs more work. Maybe somebody who studies these things will chime in and let me know where I erred. This was actually my first time — outside of writing a sonnet in high school — intentionally trying to dissect my verse to give it a specific meter.
For further application, you can use these poetic tools in writing other things as well. Apply them to lyrics if you’re looking for a specific sort of cadence — especially devastating when applied to head nodding beats. Use meter in your prose or fiction when you want to convey a specific feeling.
Meter doesn’t mean rhyme. Blank verse consists of unrhymed poetry written in a specific meter. You can use that sort of thing with any writing, not just poetry. Experiment with other forms of meter and different feet. I’ll do the same.
For more information on iambic heptameter and poetry writing:
Start with Wikipedia, of course
Things I Have Loved – Frankie (@idowhatilike) – has a blog where pretty much every post is written in iambic heptameter. She hasn’t been around for some years now, but the words are still there.
communal iambic heptameter – forum thread I found with a communal iambic heptameter thing going. It’s probably the best for seeing how different people use it. Some of them are real witty.
https://www.theproblemsite.com/writing/articles/poetry/iambic_heptameter
https://www.languageisavirus.com/poetry-guide/iambic_heptameter.php
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